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Havayosunu
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Age / Gender:
27, Male
Location:
Turkiye
Joined:
8/18/06
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So many in mind, so few in progress.

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I may kill myself..

2010-04-28 07:33:14 by Havayosunu

..and the reason is, wasting my life and talent in this industrial engineering school, which I chose myself! well actually, I didnt really choose it, when we were making the list of unis that I'd like to attempt after the uni entry test, I was listing electronics and architecture schools, but mom asked me if I'd like to add this industrial engineering school, and I said "mkay". dammit.. I never wanted to be an industrial engineer, they do nothing about engineering but have to learn all technical stuff!

but it s not that. even if I were in a proper engineering or architecture school, I still wuold have made the wrong choice; because the place that I had to be in, which unfortunately I realised after entering the uni, was ART SCHOOL!! but no, I was all like "I wantz to be an engie! I likez science!" in hi-school. dammit. What an idiot was I for not realising that I dont really have potential to be an engineer, even if I had, as you see, I fucking wrote that fucking industral engineering crap in the list and that fucking branch has NOTHING to do with engineering!! Fuck, I dont wanna be some white collar manager or something, I dont really want to be a tf2 style engie anymore either!! I want to be a professional artist!
of course I still can be; but school stuff won't let me do it freely! otherwise if I was studying in an art school, like, studying cartoons and stuff, I'd fucking shine!!
I have TONS of nice ideas that involve art and animations; but I can't make them happen because school makes me busy!! and even if i manage to finish this school and start a career as an artist, I will be a moron that wasted his five years in a school that he didnt really want to study in. and probably my ideas will become obsolete by then. well they may not be obsolete but...

...dammit.. I dont know.. well I may not end my life today; but I DO know that I'd live a much better life and would execute cartoons and stuff in my mind much easier. and seriously, I am wasting time in this school; and seeing that there s only one year left to graduate (or two), I tihnk I gotta complete this waste of time -_-

damn my idiotic decisions.

PS: I also won't be able to finish my pico flash by friday. dammit.